Balancing
Parenthood and a Photography Business
The list of
clients that need their galleries prepared is getting longer on that white
board above the desk. Circled in bright red is the reminder that The Smith's
will be arriving to view their gallery and order prints at nap time in person. The
feeling of grogginess is built up from a long night of editing while the kids
slept and the quiet was taken advantage of. A shower sounds nice, but that is
out of the question since the 6 am snooze button that rang before the kids would
wake was unconsciously beat to a bloody pulp. The kids are currently sitting in
a pile of laundry in the mud room with bras on their heads for an alien costume
effect. The whites are now mixed with the towels, blankets and brights because
the laundry baskets made such perfect space rockets. In the corner of the
kitchen, the dog is tearing apart the kids' favorite stuffed animal which soon
will bring on a flood of tears and drama that sounds like one is caught in the
makings of a horror movie. The eggs are starting brown and the kids don't like
brown spots in their eggs. The home phone rings and caller ID reads that it's that
new client that found you via Facebook,
most likely wanting to discuss some exciting ideas for their session. The cell
phone gives a little trill of alert that an email was received. The client
booked for tomorrow's family session now has four of their children with Chicken Pox popping up everywhere and they want to know if they should
reschedule or if it is possible to edit out all the marks. One more peek in at
the kids shows that they have now introduced a plunger and toilet brush into the
mix for swords which are quickly swept away. The kids are stripped and put in
the bath. The phone rings and voice mail reveals the voice of Grandma wondering
why the phone is never answered anymore. The kids are pulled out of the bath.
The eggs are now burnt and there are no more in the fridge. The youngest child
starts screaming because they have discovered that Fido not only removed both
eyes from their teddy bear, but also did a slight beheading. The middle child
starts crying because they wanted eggs and every other food in the morning is
gross and disgusting. The oldest child is laughing and finding the whole scene
hysterical which only aggravates the younger two more. In your head, you
picture yourself clawing at your hair and Guns and Roses' Welcome to the Jungle
is blaring in your mind. You take a deep breath. You pull yourself together. Hands
are thrown up in the air. A drive to McDonald's for the unhealthy greasy food
you swore you'd never put in your childrens' mouths is in order. Promises of McDonald's
Toy Land cheers up the youngest two enough to dry their tears and put on
mismatched shoes. Emails, calls and editing will have to wait. Sound familiar?
The life of
a parent… We wouldn't change it for the world. When a child is born and that
baby is placed in your arms for the very first time… well, there is no better
moment. Everything changes. It's the most wonderful feeling in the world. Every
stage goes by too quickly, yet watching your child grow is spectacular. Priorities
change. The children come first. Everything else comes next.
Perhaps you
are a parent that struggled finding an identity beyond being "Mommy"
and "Daddy" and developed a passion for photography. Maybe you are a
parent that has a separate career outside of photography and also balances life
with children. Despite the story or specifics, finding that balance of career
and parent can be difficult. Often times when it's found, it teeters again and
another plan has to be re-formed.
Here comes
the role of the "football coach." The football coach delegates
actions to the team. They come up with a plan, voice that plan to the team and
then make sure it gets executed. You are the parent. You are in charge of your
children. You are in charge of your career. If you don't take charge of that
career, who else will? If it is meaningful, then take action. Who is in your
"team?" Is there a spouse, a mother-in-law that helps, an assistant,
a neighbor, a babysitter, a nanny? Don't forget that children make up that team
too. Include them in on your plan and follow through with execution of it. If a
problem arises, re-form the plan.
So what is
the "plan?" Well, the plan depends on each situation and each team,
but here are some suggestions:
Form a
schedule. This applies to the children. This applies to you. This applies to
baby sitters, spouses and the rest of the "team." It also applies to
clients.
A Schedule
for Clients… Define when your work hours are. When are you able to accept calls
from clients? Have a separate line for clients only if needed. If they call
when you are not "open," then call them back when you are. Imagine a
sign that reads "Open" that flips over to read "Closed."
Picture that sign hanging around your neck and dangling on your chest. When you
are closed, you are closed. The phone will ring. Answering machines were
created to answer calls and record messages. Let them do that. Define when you
will be able to take on sessions. What works best for your family? When will
you have extra help? Keep the hours consistent. Remember that a client is
coming to you because they want your services. They were drawn to you for your
talent and expertise. If you are available at golden hour three nights a week,
they will find a way to make that work in their schedule too. If the sign on a
restaurant says that they are closed on Sundays, people simply find a way to go
on Saturday instead. They don't stop going because they are closed at
particular hours. If they want the food, they will find a time when they can
eat it. If hours are available at any time, then the schedule often becomes
chaotic and that teeter of balance is found to be all out of whack once more.
By forming business hours, it shows respect for yourself, your family and your
business so that you can put in 100% when it is open, not 50% when you are
distracted by everyday life.
A Schedule
for Spouses and Team Helpers… Now if you walk up to your spouse and tell them
you're putting them on a schedule, they most likely will not respond well. What
is ultimately needed is simple communication. Determine together the times in
their schedules that they are available for the children. Form a plan and if
needed, have a back-up plan. That neighbor girl who wants to earn money for her
first car would probably love to be on standby if needed. Like with any team
member, show them appreciation for being a part of the team.
A Schedule
for the Children… A schedule for children not only offers benefits for you as a
parent, but also benefits for them. It provides consistency and trust with
children. They develop a sense of security and also independence. Post the
schedule and label it with pictures for children that don't read. Include them
in the planning of the schedule so they will find excitement in it. Make it age
appropriate. This may mean that each child may be doing different, yet similar
things at one time. Make sure that during times for outdoor play or art time,
etc has you included as well. Kids want us present in their lives. If we are speaking
on the phone with a client while they are doing floor play and we're supposed
to be playing dinosaurs and trains, what kinds of memories are we creating if
we are only acting it out, while putting half our attention on the phones? Not
to mention, we are only giving 50% to our children and 50% to our client.
Schedule times that as a parent, you are 100% present for them. The business
Closed sign is on. It is also possible to schedule work hours while the kids
are in your care. Use nap times to your advantage to answer emails. Also
schedule times that children may have quiet time or free play in a safe space
nearby. Set up friendship bracelets for them to quietly make. Set out a bucket
of Lincoln Logs and Tinker Toys or a stack of paper and watercolors. If they are of reading age, make
a reading hour for them to quietly read. It has been proven via multiple studies
that kids also need time alone. It builds their imaginations and creativity as
well as their independence. Be nearby and ready at a moment's notice, as the
children should always come first, but it's also not necessary at those times
to be 100% present. And heck, if they paint the dog during free time, at least it will make great pictures. Include chore lists for older children that provide
creative rewards such as an extra ten minutes of television in the evening. If
an older child has twenty minutes scheduled for daily chores, then use that
time to respond to emails. Whatever schedule is formed should cater to your
family and what is best for them, as well as what will benefit your business.
Create a balance so that you can be the best you in each situation.
Remember
that perfection is not realistic. We watch movies where moms seem to have it
all. They look like supermodels, while having immaculate homes, organic fed
children wearing designer clothing and they run successful businesses… all with
a smile on their face. This is not reality. Though there is nothing wrong with
striving for better, it is also okay to appreciate the reality of things. The
laundry may pile up. The weeds may need pulled. You may have missed that shower
this morning. You may resort to McDonald's Play Land sometimes. That's okay. Ultimately,
the kids…and you… won't remember those things. What is remembered is the
interaction and activities that took place.
~Robin
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